A sad thing happened, my high school biology teacher passed away due to a heart attack, must be caused by his stomach cancer i don't know.
So apparently this news got spreaded out, i don't know how, and the word high school biology teacher got changed into lecturer. Suddenly, news were spreading like wildfire that a lecturer in HELP has passed away. People were texting me on my handphone, sending messages to my MSN asking me who passed away. I was super shocked when i saw these messages.
So people, don't be spreading rumours around like that. This is a classic example of communication gone wrong. Partly due to nosy parkers!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Tell the truth or lie...what a dilemma!! x(
This has to be one of the most common dilemma people face most of the time. 'Should I tell the truth, nothing but the truth or do I lie??' Seriously, it all depends on your intentions and the reasons why you want to hide the truth. For example, your girlfriend asks you if the new dress she bought looks nice on her and you answer that it makes her look big. Dudes...big means fat in a girl's dictionary. A big no-no. Now, obviously, in order to not hurt her feelings and prevent from getting a slap from her, you should not tell the whole truth. Another example, there's this hot dude who you really want to talk to but you don't know how. Well, you could always say that you are lost and ask if he could tell you the directions. Anyway, there are three alternatives to self-disclosure.
1 - Altruistic lies
Altruistic lies are also known as white lies. You know, those type of lies that are defined as being harmless and helpful to the person you are talking to. People tell white lies for various reasons like to avoid conflict, present a competent image, initiate interaction or to protect resources. Example - there's this person who is talking to you non-stop as in he talks and talks and talks and worse of all, he does not even know that he making you bored to death. What should you do?? You could say " That all sounds really interesting! Anyway, oh, look at the time! I'm sorry! I really have to go now." Something along those lines. Problem solved.
2 - Equivocation
Equivocal language can be defined as a deliberately ambiguous statement that can be understood in more than one way. Intentionally ambiguous speech is usually used to avoid lying and telling a painful truth. We do this a lot. For example, you are at your friend's house and she is cooking dinner. Once she gives you the meal she cooked, you take a taste. It is not really to your liking and you would prefer to eat something else. Your friend worked really hard to cook a nice meal for you so you end up saying "I've never tasted anything like this." This is better to say than saying that it taste horrible.
3 - Hinting
Hints are more direct than equivocal statements. Some hints are used to save the receiver or sender from embarrassment. A good technique to save face. Example - You want to invite your crush to this place. "I heard that the new shopping mall has lots of nice shops and many interesting restaurants. It's almost lunchtime. Have you eaten at the Mexican restaurant there? I hear it's really popular." You say this because you want to invite the person there but you don't want to risk a rejection to your invitation. Hopefully the person can take the hint.
See? There are various alternatives to telling a straight lie. Even though honesty is the best policy, there are times when we get in undesirable positions where telling the whole truth might just worsen the situation. So we do those alternatives mentioned previously to save our face and the other person's face.
-Hidayah-
1 - Altruistic lies
Altruistic lies are also known as white lies. You know, those type of lies that are defined as being harmless and helpful to the person you are talking to. People tell white lies for various reasons like to avoid conflict, present a competent image, initiate interaction or to protect resources. Example - there's this person who is talking to you non-stop as in he talks and talks and talks and worse of all, he does not even know that he making you bored to death. What should you do?? You could say " That all sounds really interesting! Anyway, oh, look at the time! I'm sorry! I really have to go now." Something along those lines. Problem solved.
2 - Equivocation
Equivocal language can be defined as a deliberately ambiguous statement that can be understood in more than one way. Intentionally ambiguous speech is usually used to avoid lying and telling a painful truth. We do this a lot. For example, you are at your friend's house and she is cooking dinner. Once she gives you the meal she cooked, you take a taste. It is not really to your liking and you would prefer to eat something else. Your friend worked really hard to cook a nice meal for you so you end up saying "I've never tasted anything like this." This is better to say than saying that it taste horrible.
3 - Hinting
Hints are more direct than equivocal statements. Some hints are used to save the receiver or sender from embarrassment. A good technique to save face. Example - You want to invite your crush to this place. "I heard that the new shopping mall has lots of nice shops and many interesting restaurants. It's almost lunchtime. Have you eaten at the Mexican restaurant there? I hear it's really popular." You say this because you want to invite the person there but you don't want to risk a rejection to your invitation. Hopefully the person can take the hint.
See? There are various alternatives to telling a straight lie. Even though honesty is the best policy, there are times when we get in undesirable positions where telling the whole truth might just worsen the situation. So we do those alternatives mentioned previously to save our face and the other person's face.
-Hidayah-
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Listening
Today was nothing to do,so when to play badminton with my friends and couz for an hour at The Challenger Sports Centre @ Galeria Alam Damai and had lunch with them.Then,when to the bus stop to buy the newspaper at the stall. Suddenly, an old Indian woman approach to me and ask me "hey dik,is this the bus pergi to the K.L. central..I was not sure ,so when to check at the board and told her that,after this 2 buses, then the next 1 will go there...Aiyoyoyo,she shouted,need to wait for so long..then smiled at me and say thanks..when i want to walk away..she call me again and ask me to accompany her coz she can' see properly and scare will take wrong buses...wat to do, must help elder people ma..so i just agree and sit with her for a while...
This old lady like know me for a long time, she tell me everything about the history of her and her family...she also told me that today,she going to the K.l sentral ,is to pick up her 2 nephew that come back from Ipoh so as to celebrate Deepavali with her.This 2 nephew is her very last treasure,she told me that...their parent was died in a car accident in the past 9 years...they only 7 and 10 years old at that time.Now, they studies at Ipoh-TAR college,the elder going to graduate this end of the year... the younger just join the new intake at the college,she very happy about their achievements.
Then,she asked many question again,for example,need to buy ticket at the K.L. sentral, the way to the gate when reach there and many more...maybe she just an old lady and forget how to do it,so,i just use the empathic listening to solve the problem for her,and give some advice or the way to do it,write in a short note to her....After 10 minits,the buses came,then i help her to the bus,and tell the Indian woman that stand beside me to help her..when she in the bus and say again "thank you",dik n wish me Happy Deepavali with a great smile. After that, I continue my lunch with them and feel great that i did a good deed.hahaha...
At here, I wish all the Indians and of course, Mr.Murali, "Happy Deepavali".
-Horatio(Eng Teck)-
This old lady like know me for a long time, she tell me everything about the history of her and her family...she also told me that today,she going to the K.l sentral ,is to pick up her 2 nephew that come back from Ipoh so as to celebrate Deepavali with her.This 2 nephew is her very last treasure,she told me that...their parent was died in a car accident in the past 9 years...they only 7 and 10 years old at that time.Now, they studies at Ipoh-TAR college,the elder going to graduate this end of the year... the younger just join the new intake at the college,she very happy about their achievements.
Then,she asked many question again,for example,need to buy ticket at the K.L. sentral, the way to the gate when reach there and many more...maybe she just an old lady and forget how to do it,so,i just use the empathic listening to solve the problem for her,and give some advice or the way to do it,write in a short note to her....After 10 minits,the buses came,then i help her to the bus,and tell the Indian woman that stand beside me to help her..when she in the bus and say again "thank you",dik n wish me Happy Deepavali with a great smile. After that, I continue my lunch with them and feel great that i did a good deed.hahaha...
At here, I wish all the Indians and of course, Mr.Murali, "Happy Deepavali".
-Horatio(Eng Teck)-
Sunday, October 19, 2008
persuasion
I believe persuasion skills are very much a part of communication. One of the biggest skill one should possess is persuasion skills. Because at the end of the day, when you work for a company, you are either persuading someone to buy a service or a product. So, im here again, today to promote and persuade you to vote for me. =)
i joined this freshlooksearch2008 contest with my friend, Joey and surprisingly, we got into the top 50, along with some other familiar faces in HELP UNDERGROUND. so for now, they are narrowing it down to top 20 teams and they shall compete for the grand prize. thats is why i need your kind and sincere votes because you're a nice and generous and giving and awesome and also a fantastic person (ahem, mr.murali, im talking to you)
so this is the part where i persuade, first, friends should support one another. It's in every friendship guidebook. Next, a friend is help in times of need, and im in need. OK, i ran out of reasons.
so let's jump to the part where 'Yes, i wanna vote for Leconte and his friend, Joey, but how do i get around it'. very very good question, you just have to log on to www.freshlooksearch2008.com , register yourselves, validate your account and start voting. It's not hard to miss me, im on the first page (yay!) top right hand corner. yes, i know in the picture i look fat and fugly but i actually convinced the freshlook team that i was happy and smiley and thats what contact lens do, they make you confident and happy. So you have 5 votes per day, vote everyday, what are you waiting forMR.MURALI folks? vote for me!
im an truly grateful for all the support i'm getting, this means my persuasion skills are working and my mass communcation worked! im so proud of myself. Mr.Murali, you're such an awesome lecturer for teaching me all these skills. See, i've put them to good use. Did i mention you are SO awesome?
i joined this freshlooksearch2008 contest with my friend, Joey and surprisingly, we got into the top 50, along with some other familiar faces in HELP UNDERGROUND. so for now, they are narrowing it down to top 20 teams and they shall compete for the grand prize. thats is why i need your kind and sincere votes because you're a nice and generous and giving and awesome and also a fantastic person (ahem, mr.murali, im talking to you)
so this is the part where i persuade, first, friends should support one another. It's in every friendship guidebook. Next, a friend is help in times of need, and im in need. OK, i ran out of reasons.
so let's jump to the part where 'Yes, i wanna vote for Leconte and his friend, Joey, but how do i get around it'. very very good question, you just have to log on to www.freshlooksearch2008.com , register yourselves, validate your account and start voting. It's not hard to miss me, im on the first page (yay!) top right hand corner. yes, i know in the picture i look fat and fugly but i actually convinced the freshlook team that i was happy and smiley and thats what contact lens do, they make you confident and happy. So you have 5 votes per day, vote everyday, what are you waiting for
im an truly grateful for all the support i'm getting, this means my persuasion skills are working and my mass communcation worked! im so proud of myself. Mr.Murali, you're such an awesome lecturer for teaching me all these skills. See, i've put them to good use. Did i mention you are SO awesome?
Saturday, October 4, 2008
This Year's Hari Raya Theme: Wild Animals!!
It is Saturday and I just got back from kampung in Negeri Sembilan. I was there from Tuesday to celebrate Hari Raya and it was fun! Most of my aunts, uncles and cousins were there so it was like a get together which we rarely get to do. Anyway, something interesting happened on the second day of Raya. We were all lazing around my grandparents’ house when someone who was in front of the house started screaming. I think it was my aunt’s maid. She was shouting something that sounded like “Ular!
One of my cousins prodded the snake with the galah. The snake panicked and slithered away under a table which was in front of the house. The snake met its end under that table when my brother and two cousins trapped and killed the snake. They had this mutual goal as a group which was to kill the snake so that it would not harm anyone. Yep…the snake died. Don’t sue us for harming wild animals okay! It could have bitten us! Later that night, a frog managed to come in the house. I heard from my grandmother that its urine is dangerous. The frog sprays its urine to people if provoked. Well, after some debate among my family about who gets the honors of getting rid of the frog, a mutual understanding was reached.(small group communication) =D My grandmother agreed to get rid of it. No worries...the frog didn't die. It just ran away into a bush. Anyway...safe to say it was an unforgettable experience. At least it made this year’s Hari Raya more exciting! =)
-Hidayah-
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Dark In Here
A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Her nine-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, so she puts him in the closet and shuts the door. Her husband also comes home, so she puts her lover in the closet, with the little boy.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it."
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$25.00"
The next few weeks the same thing happened again....
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball mitt."
The lover remembering the last time asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy: "$75.00"
Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove.
Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy: "$100.00"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that, that is way more than those two things cost. I'm taking you to church and making you confess."
They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth, then closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again."
-Jovita-
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it."
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$25.00"
The next few weeks the same thing happened again....
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball mitt."
The lover remembering the last time asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy: "$75.00"
Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove.
Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy: "$100.00"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that, that is way more than those two things cost. I'm taking you to church and making you confess."
They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth, then closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again."
-Jovita-
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Dear Abby... What should I do?
"Good advice is always certain to be ignored, but that's no reason not to give it." - Agatha Christie
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
It can be considered an honor if someone approaches you for advice. It shows that the person trusts you to listen and maybe offer advice. This actually makes you bear a big responsibility. Giving the person good advice may enable him/her make good and sound decision but bad advice may result in bad consequences. To avoid that, here's some tips that may be helpful when offering advices to people.
1 - LISTEN
Always listen to everything what the person tells you. Listen carefully so that you can understand the person's predicament. Don't be afraid to ask questions if you need clarification. Understanding the person's problem will enable you to give better advice.
2 - EMPATHIZE
Try to imagine yourself in the other person's shoes. Be sensitive and thoughtful as many matters require you to be sensitive to the person's feelings and emotional state. Any lessons learned in similar experiences that you had regarding the person's problem may aid you in giving advice.
3 - BE AWARE OF THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ADVICE
Give the person advice that you are confident is correct. Make sure that you know your facts of your advice and try to be certain that it'll work for the person. If you are not sure about your advice or you lack knowledge in that matter, DO NOT OFFER the person advice. It may result in the person blaming you if your advice does not work.
4 - SEE IF THE PERSON IS WILLING TO TAKE YOUR ADVICE
Someone who asks for your advice does not mean that he/she will act upon your advice. They may just need someone to listen to their problems. They may also think that their own solution is better than yours. If you want to avoid the feeling of frustration because the person did not take your advice, ask yourself of they want advice.
5 - BRAINSTORM WITH THE PERSON
There are times when it is better to help the person with any alternatives available so that you can reach a better conclusion together. Two heads are better than one.
-Hidayah-
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
It can be considered an honor if someone approaches you for advice. It shows that the person trusts you to listen and maybe offer advice. This actually makes you bear a big responsibility. Giving the person good advice may enable him/her make good and sound decision but bad advice may result in bad consequences. To avoid that, here's some tips that may be helpful when offering advices to people.
1 - LISTEN
Always listen to everything what the person tells you. Listen carefully so that you can understand the person's predicament. Don't be afraid to ask questions if you need clarification. Understanding the person's problem will enable you to give better advice.
2 - EMPATHIZE
Try to imagine yourself in the other person's shoes. Be sensitive and thoughtful as many matters require you to be sensitive to the person's feelings and emotional state. Any lessons learned in similar experiences that you had regarding the person's problem may aid you in giving advice.
3 - BE AWARE OF THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ADVICE
Give the person advice that you are confident is correct. Make sure that you know your facts of your advice and try to be certain that it'll work for the person. If you are not sure about your advice or you lack knowledge in that matter, DO NOT OFFER the person advice. It may result in the person blaming you if your advice does not work.
4 - SEE IF THE PERSON IS WILLING TO TAKE YOUR ADVICE
Someone who asks for your advice does not mean that he/she will act upon your advice. They may just need someone to listen to their problems. They may also think that their own solution is better than yours. If you want to avoid the feeling of frustration because the person did not take your advice, ask yourself of they want advice.
5 - BRAINSTORM WITH THE PERSON
There are times when it is better to help the person with any alternatives available so that you can reach a better conclusion together. Two heads are better than one.
-Hidayah-
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