Dear Abby... What should I do?

"Good advice is always certain to be ignored, but that's no reason not to give it." - Agatha Christie

"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde


It can be considered an honor if someone approaches you for advice. It shows that the person trusts you to listen and maybe offer advice. This actually makes you bear a big responsibility. Giving the person good advice may enable him/her make good and sound decision but bad advice may result in bad consequences. To avoid that, here's some tips that may be helpful when offering advices to people.

1 - LISTEN
Always listen to everything what the person tells you. Listen carefully so that you can understand the person's predicament. Don't be afraid to ask questions if you need clarification. Understanding the person's problem will enable you to give better advice.

2 - EMPATHIZE
Try to imagine yourself in the other person's shoes. Be sensitive and thoughtful as many matters require you to be sensitive to the person's feelings and emotional state. Any lessons learned in similar experiences that you had regarding the person's problem may aid you in giving advice.

3 - BE AWARE OF THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ADVICE
Give the person advice that you are confident is correct. Make sure that you know your facts of your advice and try to be certain that it'll work for the person. If you are not sure about your advice or you lack knowledge in that matter, DO NOT OFFER the person advice. It may result in the person blaming you if your advice does not work.

4 - SEE IF THE PERSON IS WILLING TO TAKE YOUR ADVICE
Someone who asks for your advice does not mean that he/she will act upon your advice. They may just need someone to listen to their problems. They may also think that their own solution is better than yours. If you want to avoid the feeling of frustration because the person did not take your advice, ask yourself of they want advice.

5 - BRAINSTORM WITH THE PERSON
There are times when it is better to help the person with any alternatives available so that you can reach a better conclusion together. Two heads are better than one.


-Hidayah-